How Are Your Juggling Skills?
WAHMs – work at home moms. You’re convinced that being a self-made business person will lead you to the path of flexibility, peace, and prosperity. You could never make ends meet with that measly salary you were paid anyway so it was time to chuck it. You’ve picked a part of the house to be your new cubicle, bought the equipment, and created your Excel spreadsheets. You’ve got everything figured out.
Thing is…
Your husband’s complaining that this is the umpteenth time you’ve served “dinner in a box” and he’s beginning to feel a little processed, your daughter is teething and begging for your attention and your aging mother-in-law who lives with you is screaming help because her crochet is missing loops and cross-overs. Fido also has a bad case of diarrhea. And the house, which is supposed to be immaculate, because now you’re home all the time – is a wreck!
What Do You Mean “Balance?”
Balancing family and work is a worthwhile concept and inspires the poet in some of us, but once you begin working at home, it’s a principle that isn’t compatible with the grand scheme of things. The fact is – and women who work from home will agree – a certain degree of periodical imbalance is necessary because it teaches you to be a juggler automatically. You won’t need to sign up for a course on balancing because work-at-home-moms achieve it effortlessly and beautifully – in time, of course.
The first few months will be helter-skelter. Eventually though, you’ll manage to identify your comfort level and adjust as gracefully as you can. So don’t worry that the balls are not synchronized when you juggle and the scales are tipped more heavily towards one side. To be a WAHM is not like going through a brand new, well-greased revolving door. Actually, it’s more like prying open a decrepit barn door that’s been shut for decades.
Welcome the chaos and the imbalance because they strengthen your soul, fortify your spirit, and test your mettle. When the chaos ends and balance finally reigns, you’ll realize that the hellish periods were worth it.
“In the not-too-distant past, many home-based business owners tried to camouflage the fact that they didn’t have fancy offices at posh addresses. They never divulged the fact that they wor^ked from home. Today, with the growing acceptance of home-based businesses, this dodge is, by and large, no longer necessary. On the contrary, having a home-based business is (almost) a thing to be proud of.” (Barbara Weltman, 1997)
“I Could Use Some Advice”
We’re delighted to share some:
- Months before your “JOB” resignation, remind your husband and kids gently that “mom can’t always be there for you and you’ll sometimes need to be independent when I’m working.” Say this often – so that the idea sinks in. (Yes, hubby needs to hear that too). Explain that there will be times where you will be inaccessible but assure them that the situation is temporary.
- If you and can afford it, hire someone who could come in a few days and do some cooking and cleaning. Don’t try to be a super WAHM. You need to concentrate on your work and delegating tasks means less stress for you. How much per hour is a housekeeper or a few hours of a nanny? How much per hour can you be generating with your business? Do the math!
- Cut back on useless, time-wasting activities. Tell your friends you can’t play bunko, meet at Starbucks, or go shopping for awhile. Don’t browse fashion magazines, store catalogs, or surf the internet. Invest some time instead on the skills you need to get your business flowing smoothly. (TV? What’s that?)
- Arrange dental appointments, PTA meetings, and community work during times when your workload eases up. Space out your commitments and your deadlines. Don’t be afraid to say “NO” when you should. Just because you work at home doesn’t mean your job or business is any less important than women who work outside the home (this is a tough one that we all battle constantly!)
- Do spend quality time with your family – make it a scheduled priority. But don’t make your family an excuse NOT to work. Make every minute count that you’re with them. For awhile, it might be that you need to “pretend” you’re still reporting to someone else as a boss…until everyone figures out that you really ARE working!
Carrie, this article hit the nail on the head. I used to dream about working from home when I was sitting in the conference room in a big executive suite. I quickly found out that multitasking when it comes to building a business at home does not hold the same definition as multitasking in an office. Great article.
Great Post! I love that work at home businesses no longer need to hide, but for safety sake it is a good practice to obtain a mailing address that is NOT your home.
Hi Carrie,
I’ve been a work-at-home mom since my oldest was born in 2003. It was fine until this past year, when my business tripled. Now, I usually don’t go to bed until 2 a.m. and get up around 6-6:30 with my youngest.
I can’t complain though. I have the best of both worlds. I get to be home with my kids AND get to have a fulfilling career. It takes a lot of juggling, a helpful spouse, and a lot of self sacrifice. No night time TV, almost no social life, books, crafts, all of my “me” stuff is put on the back burner. I just keep telling myself that in a couple of years, both kids will be in school full time and I’ll have all the time in the world to work (and sleep). This time with them is really precious so I am happy to juggle like a madwoman.
Thanks for the great post.
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Go girl power!