Men Tend to Be Bigger in Business
I have one son and 3 daughters. I was one daughter in a house with 3 boys.
Guess what? We’re different. We really are.
You may want to shout ‘equality’ and ‘we’re the same’ and you may even want to put a woman in our highest public office. But I maintain…that while we are all stupendous, valuable and wonderful…we are different. Men and women are designed by our Creator quite differently (THANK GOODNESS) and you really can see it beginning from when we’re little.
This week I was at a marketing conference and there were about 8 women and 192 men. While I personally LOVE those ratios as far as standing out in the crowd…it caused me to wonder again why the big gap?
All of the sudden, I had an image in my mind of my older brother Kevin and I on the roof of the house at about ages 6 and 8. I am saying, ‘How do we get down? Look how high we are!’ and Kevin is saying, ‘The fastest way is to jump! We can do it!’
Now…think of your daughters and sons. Think of you and your husband. Think of men vs women in this instance. You know what happens in MOST cases.
Carrie or little girl: I don’t think we should. This is dangerous. We might get hurt. We’re going to get in trouble. We might smash the flowers.
Kevin or little boy: It’s the fastest way. We can do it. It’s not that far. There’s a soft patch of grass. C’mon – let’s go. AND HE JUMPS!
The little girl waits until her dad brings a ladder or she finds a carport, low spot, ledges or some safe way to climb down.
The little girl is safe. She isn’t in trouble. And she is relieved that she didn’t have to jump.
The little boy has broken his arm. He got yelled at by his parents. And all the while, he is saying to himself, “you KNOW, if I had faced the other direction when I jumped…it would’ve worked better. As soon as my arm is healed, I’m going to try AGAIN!”
Now – you might be laughing…but this is more true than you might be willing to admit.
Let’s translate it to business. As women, we study. We learn. We want something more. We prepare and prepare and we are a little hesitant to really venture out and PLAY BIG because: 1) we might fail 2) we might hurt ourselves 3) someone might not approve.
Men are playing BIG, failing BIG, getting hurt, bankrupt or embarrassed and then getting up and TRYING AGAIN!
What I want for you is this: JUST JUMP – play big…take the steps (or the leaps) and let’s FAIL FAST so we can adjust what works, what doesn’t work and what we can do to make this work better for YOU!
Men aren’t better than us. They’re not stupid either, contrary to what we might think when they jump off the roof. They’re just not afraid to test things until they figure out the best way.
Who is with me?? Ready, Set….JUMP!
Coming from a dude:
Interesting. Although Men are often playing and going bigger, men have more privilege and power in the world and in particular, this culture. Narrow it even further and white, heterosexual men have the greatest opportunity to succeed.
All that said, women are stepping it up more and more. I went to a mostly women’s marketing workshop (ali brown) where the ratio was reversed. I appreciate learning business from women because it’s simply more relational.
The risk of “competing” with the big dogs (men) is that look at any female politican. She has to become a man or act like one to succeed. Lame. Women are going to be most successful if they stop playing by the man’s rule and invent their own. There’s nothing more sexy or amazing than a woman blossoming in her full power.
Jayson
http://www.revolutionaryman.com
This is the biggest truth there is. I know people are all caught up in the “market to your female customer” as opposed to marketing to women, but men and women are different.
Because we’re human beings, we are also alike. But, as you demonstrate so well here, women aren’t less smart or less able than men…we just need to learn to be more courageous and take bigger steps. I love your “fail faster” advice.
Nice work. Tweeted it just now.
Do you believe in Serendipity? I do, because this is JUST the message I needed to hear today. I’ve spent the past 6 months with BIG ideas for my business, but have spent endless hours researching, tweaking and trying to figure out the best way to do it. I’m ready to just JUMP with you!
Thanks so much for the inspiration.
Great post, Carrie. In business, the chances of one getting really hurt are a lot less than jumping off the roof, however, they are still there.
I think one of the real “secrets” is to know how to learn from others. When I was a kid, my friend jumped out of a tree thinking his umbrella would work like a parachute. He broke his arm.
I remember thinking, “I’ll be sure not to try that.” Learning what works and what doesn’t, either by studying others, having coaches and mentors or simply reading biographies, is a great way to jump off the roof, making sure you land on a bed of soft grass.
Carrie – you nailed it! That’s exactly the difference – at least it is for me. But I’m at the point where I feel I’m being pushed to the edge and I have two choices – dig my heels in and resist, or just jump. I’m jumping!
Carrie, Thanks for the reminder to put fear aside. I have 2 girls and 2 boys, and I can totally see how we approach things different at times. Your paragraph on how that translates to business hits home. That’s the exact approach I take. Learn everything I can, instead of just jumping in and falling down, and getting up to try it again. Your analogies hit home. Thanks!
Loved it! My Uncle jumped out of their second story window and broke his arm. My husband used to play hide and go-seek on the roof of a 2+ story victorian house. (How those 6 kids lived to adulthood, I’ll never know.)
I tend for the cautious side too and need to learn to jump, because no-one is going to go get the ladder for me!
I read that the job loss rate for men is huge compared to women right now. Personally I attribute this to women working harder for less money (I have the disease to please at work, too). Perhaps there is a time for leaping and perhaps there is a time for caution.
This is the first blog article I’ve read of yours and its definitely thought provoking. I don’t think it’s the only reason for more men in big business but I’m sure it’s a contributor. I loved your comparison to roof jumping. For the record, I think we women are smarter for watching and learning and NOT breaking our bones in the process! We’ve just got to go create the cape that will allow us to fly down safely! Thanks for the best article I’ve read today!
Carrie,
Thank you for a great lesson! I think you nailed it.
Margaret
I couldn’t agree more – men and women are different; not better or worse, just different. That is one of the premises of my book, “Some Assembly Required: A Networking Guide for Women.” After all, if we worked, communicated and managed relationships the same we wouldn’t even need a book on networking for women!
I think men are generally more apt to take risks in their careers and in their networking then women are. We are often too worried about doing things just right, and about not being a bother or too cocky, rather than taking a chance and risking failure, rejection, hurt feelings, embarrassment, etc. This type of behavior happens whether asking to serve on a board of directors, asking for the sale, or asking someone to give us advice. I find myself holding back all the time and have to ask myself – come on, Marny what is the worst thing that could happen?????
We girls have other natural, instinctive skills and abilities that help us in our careers and in building our networks, but in my view, the guys have us beat in taking risks.
Fortunately, there is room for all of us in the world of networking!
Marny
I agree. Women are really kickin’ it into high gear.
GO LADIES!
That being said, I also think that jumping in is the only way to do it. (I know, I am a guy, I’m supposed to say that.) Why wet your toe when you can just jump in, and get used to the water.
In the immortal words of “The Great One” Wayne Gretzky, “You miss 100% of the shots you never take!”
How could I NOT reply to this post? You were your usual incredible and inspiring self – hitting home just when I need it.
I do need to stop standing at the edge, trying to balance myself, and just JUMP! I won’t know how I land until I take the leap of faith and just do it. Chances are I’ll land on two feet, but if I don’t… I will certainly have learned something that I can apply to my next adventure.
And I believe you’re right about men being more inclined to just jump in, it’s like a DNA thing, they were created to be the providers and don’t always have the luxury of taking baby steps to succeed.
Thanks Carrie!
Yvonne
Great discussion point which I personally believe is starting to tip the other way.
I have a three business interests, two are co-founded with women the other with a man.
As I move more towards internet based business I will be partnering with more women as I believe that the social aspect of web2.0 benfits from the strong female lead.
Paul.
It’s curious that you would write this today, because as I was listening to Gary Vee on his UStream lecture, I felt conflicted. He said that in order to succeed one must not be afraid of the 4 letter word W-O-R-K. He then stated that 9-11-14 hour days were what’s needed to succeed. He went on to explain that “the family” needs a certain amount of HIS time.
My conflict lies in the fact that a woman with children cannot dole out time to her children like a treat. 11 and 14 hours days are not going to work for her. I have always disagreed with the notion of “quality time” when it comes to children…..the quality cannot be commanded to appear; it takes quantity of time to find quality of time. This is why the work-at-home arena is becoming more and more popular.
Yes, men and women are different in many ways, one of them being that women must wait until the appropriate time in their life to JUMP.
But when that time arrives, we MUST JUMP.
Great conversation, Carrie. As the Dad of one daughter, I’ve lost sleep trying to figure out how to help Kelly achieve her dreams and not being afraid to fail. One thing I’ve done is get her to spend time with very successful women in a wide variety of fields. I have no idea if this will make any difference.
She is competing at a very high level in golf now, which by itself, has a lot of failure. She’s come close, but hasn’t won any tournaments yet. Lots of tears, but she’s still determined to win. It’s not roof jumping, but that’s okay.
I’m always open for ideas to help her.
I’m not sure if you’re talking about traditional business or an online business.
I’ll speak for the online business. In one word, Technology. Women, until the last few years, have never had interest in technology. Go to any engineering school and the male/female ratio probably 100/1 if not more in favor of the men.
Now, with the Internet, women have found it much easier to socialize from the comfort of their home. However, it goes beyond that. With so many online tools, many women have found a way to make money while staying home.
Unfortunately, that ratio is still small. It is growing though.
Carrie, let’s look at it this way, take all the super gurus and past marketing genius’s out of the equation and you’ll find that you (whether you were a woman or a man) are doing far better than 95% of all out there marketing on the Internet.
It’s getting better for all, black/white, fat/skinny, pretty/ugly and of course female/male with the Internet. You can be anonymous and give people whatever perception you want.
But, I still think it’s the technology that’s holding “most” women from online marketing.
Just my 2 cents.
Interesting comments so far. I expected something a little more on the comical side when I read your twitter update. Men may be a little more on the risk-taking side, but there have been plenty of women who have paved the way for the rest of us. I think internet marketing is still kind of new – I know plenty of women in the offline networking business who have never considered the idea of online marketing because of the computer wall. Still, I agree with the fact that we tend to think too much about what we’re doing instead of just getting out there and doing it – although a lot of it comes down to having confidence in yourself and knowing your ‘why’. Once you’ve figured that out – there is no stopping until you get there. If only more women would allow that to happen:)
Great Article Barefoot!
Hi Carrie!
While the controversy (debate) rages on, regarding who’s better female vs. male, let’s be happy that things ARE changing and that the gap is closing, albeit slowly.
I like to think that “I” personally (with regards to business, and similar matters), choose based on my perception of experience, and reliability. Is that error-proof? Probably not, but it has worked (mostly) so far…
Excellent “food for thought”, this post is.
Be Well!
ECS Dave
I like your story! You have to remember that men have been in Business longer and in greater numbers. The old boys club is still in session.
While Tom Peters has been preaching Fail faster for 25 years, most people do not follow that advice. Many execs have Analysis Paralysis, coupled with the CYA Mentality.
I don’t know why there were so few women at your marketing conference. In my experience, marketing has far more women than men. Conferences aren’t a cross-section though. Attendees tend to be go-getters and people passionate about their career or networking fiends.
Do Men tend to Go Bigger in Business? As we have seen in Banking, Telecom, Finance, Auto and Government – YES! Too Big and Too Far sometimes!
On the other hand, risk and innovation are needed to move forward. Take the Leap isn’t just something Women have to learn. I have clients that I am still trying to push off the roof
Hey carrie;
Thanks for your honesty. Many women on the Web would not have had the courage or been too politically correct to have volunteered what you did.
Woman and men are similar, as well as different, in many ways.
One of those similarities is some women in my experience, like some men, are more venturesome/courageous than others …in business and life. And those qualities/traits don’t necessarily make an individual of either gender more or less effective or successful!
Blessings,
@GaryFPatton in Toronto
Hi, Carrie-
Your post is excellent! As a single mom of three and revving my business back up (after I separated from my soon-to-be ex), I felt much more confident without his control (sadly, he was controlling). I really am jumping head-first (let’s hope I don’t bash it) and truly admire what you’ve been able to do as a mom of four yourself!
Our culture wants us to forget that men and women are different (and, yes, thank heaven for that!). But you offer a great lesson to learn from men. This is VERY refreshing as many women tend to male-bash.
I will check back here with frequency and thanks for giving us ladies the encouragement we need to forge ahead and, “be not afraid!”
Warmly,
Liz
amen, sister.
though i do wonder if it’s a genetic/gender thing, or whether grls and boys are treated differently even from the moment they are born that causes the difference in thinking – my niece is a total fragile flower but i’m positive that my sister treated her that way, and now with my new nephew, my sister just lets him hit his head, run all over the place, get into little bits of trouble, etc.
oh well. no more thought and analysis about it right? just action
Well thought-out and written. In general terms, I would agree. HOWEVER (I work in technology where there is ALWAYS a HOWEVER) there are exceptions to everything. My oldest is a typical boy the way you describe – try it. My youngest is much more analytical and will (like me) analyze it to death before trying some things.
I need to take your advice and JUMP.
Thanks
Hi Carrie,
I just “found” you on twitter and this is my first visit to your blog. I absolutely love, love, love your bossmovie. And this post. And pretty much everything you seem to represent.
I am a mom of 7 and a budding entrepreneur with lots of ideas. Thanks for the inspiration to JUMP!
Warmly,
Deann
Hi Carrie
I am following you on Twitter (@IanRDavies) and decided to take a look at your blog.
I love this analogy. It is so accurate.
I was made redundant from a job I loved 6 years ago. My ego was bruised for a day but I decided it was better to JUMP into starting my own business rather than wallow in self-pity.
It was a good move!
Best wishes
Ian D
Carrie,
I totally agree that men are not afraid to take risks, get their butts kicked and go for a bigger loss (or subsequent success) and women think too much before they react.
I tend to think like a man, always have, always thought I could do anything a man can do and that women and men could do everything absolutely the same. The truth is that men can do somethings better but its because they have less fears and more confidence than most of us women do.
In business, I learned a few years ago that you have to think and act like a man but still be as cunning and persuasive as a woman
We really do have the best of both worlds, we just have to grab our guts off the floor and jump off that roof!!
I’ll jump first and tell you if its worth it!
~Nancy
As a Barefoot Ultra Marathon Runner and Home Biz Owner I enjoy your perspective on things!
If you havent read John Eldredges “Wild at Heart” and Stacy Eldredges “Captivating” books yet you would love them because they explain the difference in men and women in a very affirming way on an even large scale than your story here!
Erskien Lenier
http://www.erskien.blogspot.com
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